This week we had a really powerful teaching on relationships by Jozsed Papp. It was a great week and he challenged us to ask ourselves how is our inner man.
He started from the principle from Matthew 7:12
Do to others what you would have them to do to you.
He showed us that we need to give up our dream of just receiving from others but look at ourselves and realize how much we are able to love others.
Real Love is:
- Caring: Love is caring in action
- Responsible: Not and obligation or an external force but a free will action to satisfy the needs of another person.
- Respectful: Looking at people they are and respecting their unique personalities while allowing and helping them to grow.
- Knowing: Seeing the person for who they really are.
Another point he talked about was that every person has a unique ‘world’ This world is built up by our:
- Geographical and Economical
- Family Background
- Personal History
- Inherited Abilities
- Significant Events
- Role Models
- Unique way of feeling about life in general
Our inner world or frame of reference is what use to understand and filter love. It also determines how we feel about the world. He gave us a few questions that helped me start to understand and think a bit deeper about my ‘inner world’
- Is the world a friendly place?
- Whats your idea of a good relationship?
- Whats your idea of people loving you?
- How do you want to grow in your relationships?
- How do I respond to love?
- How do I respond to rejection?
- What is my first reaction when I am rejected
- How do I compensate when this happens
- When and how do I expect to be loved
One question that he asked I had heard many times, phased in many different ways and that is
My life will be complete or better when….
I heard this so often in my life but the blank was always different sometimes it was a relationship, or a house or kids or even paying off a loan.
Its important to have a good understanding of relationships according to God’s standards. That its not just head knowledge but is known. Worked out in your heart through experience. We need to live in the foundation of the Fathers love for us seeing, believe and understanding his love for us leads us to love and reach out to others. We know longer just expect to receive love but be actively put in the effort to understand a love others.
Jesus himself did not expect to be loved but focused is time and ministry on loving people (Luke 6:35).
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High,because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
God took a big risk on us. He gave us free will and free choice he did not create us as robots. Therefore He gave us a choice in relationship as well, whether to enter into a relationship with Him and with others and also how we act either as a passive recipient or active loving giver.